shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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