Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
