how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
