So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize