Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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