YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
