Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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