My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
