If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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