There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize