Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Of course I have a pirate flag
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
