margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
