Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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