What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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