We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
