Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
