these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
