Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
