if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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