Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
