Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
