Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
