oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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