9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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