Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
