Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
