talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
