dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
