the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
