Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
