I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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