what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
