he looks like a really good dad on facebook
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
