remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
