I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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