Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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