There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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