who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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