I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
