all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
