there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
