I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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