Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
