fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
