So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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