I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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