you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
