im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
