once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
