remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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