yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
