Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
