How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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