Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
