I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
