I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
