Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Duck Duck Cougar?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
