return my video game
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
