Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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